Take my heart, I lay it down
At the feet
of You who's crowned
Take my life
Letting go
I lift it up
to You who's throned

And I will worship You, Lord
Only You, Lord
And I will bow down before You
Only You, Lord

Take my fret, take my fear
All I have I'm leaving here
Be all my hopes, be all my dreams
You're my delights
Be my everything

And I will worship You, Lord
Only You, Lord
And I will bow down before You
Only You, Lord

And I will worship You, Lord
Only You, Lord
And I will, I will bow down before You
Only You, Lord

And it's just You and me here now
Only You and me here now

And it's just You and me here now
Only You and me here now

You should see the view
When it's only You

the end of week 5 already?

its weird to think that week 5 has ended and i'm halfway through the quarter now.. my final quarter as a student, possibly for the rest of my life..

just ordered my cap and gown for graduation, picked daddie up from SFO this morning and just got back from dropping him off for his flight back home.. hm. the next time i see him i'll have graduated and be officially home for good and about to start work..

then on the way home i was thinking.. wow. i'm starting work in august, that's about just 3 mths away. where was i 3 months ago? its scary to think how long ago that was and how so many things have happened between then adn now, but yet equally if not more scary that it doesn't seem so long ago..

so this time thing.. its really a mystery, i can't decide if it passes fast or slow.. cos it does both, and sometimes mysteriously at the same time too.. can't decide if time is for me or against me.. time heals, but time passes and what's lost is lost forever. So then that reminds me that i really should cherish my time and make the best of it and stretch it to the max, but sometimes when things feel crappy or when i feel i'm hanging in the middle, then i just want time to fly by and bring me to a point where things aren't so uncertain, so unsure..

hm i think way too much for my own good.. its just one of those transitions in life when you know you're not gonna be where you are much longer, you know a new phase is coming up, and you're not quite sure whether to embrace that or not, and hence kinda feeling neither here nor there..

yes. basically hanging in the middle. and yes, basically my mind is doing its useless wandering thing again. hm.

first weekend of spring~

the first weekend of spring is coming to an end!! *Sad*

its been a pretty good (and eventful weekend) tho.. we went up to point reyes yesterday.. gorgeous drive~!! =) we had fresh oysters that had to be shucked ourselves.. and we dropped by the beach for a little.. it was truly a beautifully gorgeous day out..=) 

thank God for the beautiful day and get us safely there and back along hwy1 despite a badly punctured tire and nearly running out of gas~!! haha but yes now i need to go get a new tire.. hopefully they'll do it quick and cheap tmr afternoon..

tmrs the start of a new week in spring.. and the start of holy week too.. am feeling very thankful for everything and everyone around me.. parts of the week in school will prob be tough.. but i'll just rely on His love and grace to get me through the week.. a day at a time and a step at a time..

wonder what the next weekend will bring~? *ponders* 

spring break begins~

finally got done with winter documentation this morning after pulling yet another all nighter.. we called it at 9 and starting printing.. a total of 270+ pages~! 

flying off to buffalo to see jie, kale and the girls tomorrow afternoon.. am kinda glad that school's out and i can go away and take a break from it all.. its been so intense and i know i'm getting better.. the last week or so looked up a little.. even though it was super intense at school and work and stuff.. but all that kept me just going from day to day immersing myself in stuffs.. i -am- glad for a break.. just afraid of the what having nothing in particular to do might summon.. its a slippery slope that leads to the pit of endless pointless thoughts and memories.. 

but ultimately, i'm really thankful for the blessings in my life nonetheless.. my family, jie and mommie and daddie.. for supporting and understanding me all the way, for clarissa who's been a blessing in everyway possible.. for other people in my life who lift me up.. every bit counts and every person counts.. friends here and friends far away...

just need to keep reminding myself--His love never fails, and He will never leave us.. He'll never put us anywhere, without His grace and strength to see us through.. 

messing everything up..

that's wat i feel like i'm doing sometimes...

just when i think its gonna be a better day.. something throws itself at me and makes me think i've messed up again..

i need the light at the end of the tunnel.. i know its coming someday..

stronger than yesterday~

and will strive to achieve that every day! =)

caught a chick flick for the first time in a very long time with clar last nite.. i remember why i luv chick flicks sometimes.. stressless, brainless, fun, and its predictably happy ending is kinda comforting in strange way..

had a pretty productive morning too.. finished a problem set, and helped lesley with a puzzle from the microsoft game.. the people who came up with those puzzles must be geniuses..

managed to catch up with val a little tonite too.. thanx babe.. and finally a couple of liberating minutes dancing tied up the day. =)

am gonna work towards doing more things for myself a little more..

realize that lately i have a thing for fountains..very therapeutic.. constant motion and comforting steady sound... pretty to look at and refreshing to be around.. i like water.. especially moving water.. prob comes from my innate love for beaches and watching its waves..

tied together with a smile

and coming undone...

pulling myself together, then falling apart, over and over again.. i'm just tired.

You are my strength when i am weak, You are the treasure that I seek, You are my all in all..

we danced the night away~

so the ball is finally over.. i remember thinking of it as the highlight of my year at stanford.. along the way it oscillated from being something i really looked forward to, to something i was really apprehensive about.. back and forth, back and forth...

am really thankful though, that it was a great night in the end.. things were as good as i could possibly ask for.. it was definitely the grandest thing i've ever experienced, my first real "ball" where there was tons of great dancing..

so here are some of the few pictures i managed to get with my newly acquired pink camera~! =) more of other better pictures from other ppl's cameras on facebook i think.. these are some snippets for mommie, daddie, jie and my dearies back home, since i've been totally inactive.. decided to surprise you guys=)

and now i have my saturday mornings back... time to take some serious advantage of my weekends..

pretty pink flowers to start the loong day~

girls from opening~

dress rehearsal waltz partner and polka partner~

salseros partner~

my best dip picture of the nite with john from opening~

clar and me..

keeley and me~!

pretty waterfall -in- the hyatt..

this aint a fairytale~

Taylor Swift - White Horse

Say you’re sorry
That face of an angel
Comes out just when you need it to
As I paced back and forth all this time
Cause I honestly believed in you
Holding on
The days drag on
Stupid girl,
I should have known, I should have known

[Chorus]
That I’m not a princess, this ain’t a fairy tale
I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain’t Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it’s too late for you
And your white horse, to come around

Baby I was naive,
Got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance
I had so many dreams
About you and me
Happy endings
Now I know

[Chorus]
That I’m not a princess, this ain’t a fairy tale
I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain’t Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it’s too late for you
And your white horse, to come around

And there you are on your knees,
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted but I’m so sorry

Cause I’m not your princess, this ain’t a fairytale
I’m gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now
And its too late for you and your white horse
Now its too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa
Try and catch me now
Oh, it’s too late
To catch me now

well into a new year~

so its well into a new year.. i've skipped the merry christmases, happy new years, and happy CNYs...

and here i am at almost the very end of the first month of 2009.. wow, time really flies huh..

finally took that trip to the beach today.. it was a wonderfully relaxing afternoon by the beach.. there was supposed to be a heat wave this weekend, so the beach was obviously packed.. so just two beaches down we found a little quiet surprise.. a nice little cove by a really high end hotel.. believe it or not they have a nice little public beach access there.. gorgeous blue sky, bright shining sun, wrapped in bundles of sweater and blankie with wind in my hair, fresh fruits and snacks.. really nothing more i could ask for.. wish i could have stayed there and not returned to the real world.. but here i am back in my room, and its time to face the world again..

many things running through my mind- questions, fears, uncertainties, hopes, dreams.. but in all of it i'm sure God is making me a stronger girl. i'm only human and emotions are sometimes overwhelming, and sometimes i just can't hold onto that perfect tranquility of peace surpassing all understanding.. but i'm learning, not by my strength, but by His alone..

taking one day at a time, and greeting each day with a smile~















by the way.. this song just made it to the top of my current faves.. its so sweet it just made my heart totally melt at the last chorus =)

Love Story - Taylor Swift

We were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes
And the flashback starts
I'm standing there
On a balcony of summer air

See the lights,
See the party, the ball gowns
I see you make your way through the crowd
You say hello
Little did I know

That you were Romeo you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
And I was crying on the staircase
Begging you please don't go, and I said:

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes

So I sneak out to the garden to see you
We keep quiet cause we're dead if they know
So close your eyes
Escape this town for a little while

Cause you were Romeo I was a scarlet letter
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
But you were everything to me
I was begging you please don't go and I said:

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes

Romeo save me, they try to tell me how to feel
This love is difficult, but it's real,
Don't be afraid
We'll make it out of this mess
It's a love story baby just say yes, oh,

I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town I said:

Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head, I don't know what to think
He knealt to the ground and pulled out a ring

And said:

Marry me Juliet you'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all I really know
I talked to your dad go pick out a white dress
It's a love story baby just say yes

Oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Cause we were both young when I first saw you

white thanksgiving~

am sitting on a carpeted floor in my sister's place on a white thanksgiving day..
am attempting to complete my stats homework but really, stats is not my thing..

its almost dec and i suppose i should type one entry before nov has come and gone and been neglected huh..

in a pensive mode now, things have been totally crazy in the most indescribable way, but i'm alive and kicking.. and there's still much to be thankful for.. amidst the craziness God has still blessed me with many great things and reminded me of the wonderful family and friends He has given me.. family will always be family and always there and beside you.. and best friends will always be best friends through up and downs.. thank you all for loving me, understanding me and accepting me..

may God bless every person in the world hurt or hungry, lost or exasperated, tired or weary this holiday season.. may His love, joy and peace flow abundantly and fill each one of our lives..


thank You for everything You've given me~

happy thanksgiving everyone..

wonderful weekend~

its been a great weekend, after a simply crazy week..

pulled almost 3 all nighters this week.. resulting in sleep deprivation and a grumpy me.. heh.
BUT on a brighter side, i got into salseros and into viennese opening ball~! *beams* was hesitant at first to take on both, but decided that i had only a year and i needed to stretch my year to the max.. if i gave either one up, i'd regret it forever.. (hints of how i felt in jc arise...) haha. so i'm doing both and me 310!

anyways, the paperbike is done.. took a LOT of work.. but most of it was really fun, and it was great getting to know ppl better and making frens.. just a little frustrating at time when things and ppl clash and everyone's at their wit's end.. =(

the end of the week was greeted but a fabulous weekend, more than i could ask for.. jem came up on friday.. supposed to be out 2 year.. happy 2 year!! but i had the paper bike race till pretty late and we were both exhausted after.. sweet jem helped me w m heap of laundry, and after dessert, we both fell aslp.. then sat after viennese practice, we checked out Filoli gardens.. it was great.. prob not as pretty as spring.. but was a beautiful mansion with lovely sculptured gardens.. after which jem took me shopping (!!) at hillsdale =) ooh i luv shopping.. anyways we went to see's candies and the lady gave us two free expensive dark chocolate nougatey thingeys! haha we were happily satisfied..

anyways jem brought riesling cos he noes its one of my faves.. (of wat little i drink) so we decided to put tog a homemade dinner in my apt.. haven't done this for awhile.. and realized how muc more fun it is preparing and cooking with him around.. we fixed a hefty meal-- garlic bread, cream of mushroom soup, grilled salmon fillets, baked potato with mozarella and bacon bits, and bratwursts.. goodness we stuffed ourselves silly, devouring our food cos we were hungry, and falling aslp in food coma shortly after.. at 9pm! so early.. haha

so we woke up today and prepared a picnic lunch cos we headed up with a bunch of other ppl to san fran golden gate park for Alice's now and zen concert at the park, with sarah borealis, sugaray, duffy and more~! live performances and lovely sunny weather.. i even got a tan on one side. =( haha but anyways, the fleet show of the navy/air force was going on nearby, so the show was graced by the appearance of the blue angels and stuff~! =) wat a lovely afternoon.. am glad to announce i was very wellprepared.. with tuna salad, lettuce and ham, sandwiches, oatmeal and raisin cookies, and fruitips and apples...

am kinda sad e weekend's over.. and trying to get geared back to another crazy busy week.. but as u can see, trying to capture my wonderful weekend, so i can look back and say-- the past crazy week was worth it..

so i'll attempt to put up pics now..=P

enjoy!

filoli gardens~






















dinner at home~

















concert at the park~!

midst of a busy week~

its midweek! after tmr, the weekend will be -that- much nearer=)

and after tmr, all e homework will be turned in (for this week) and our critical function prototype presentation for me 310 wil also be over! phew.

spend the WHOLE afternoon and nite till 11pm in the loft today for our me310 stuff.. with e exception of lunch, 1.5 hrs of product realization lab training, and dinner. hah. oh and 1 hr or so finishing up my controls homework...

tmr i get free breakfast and free dinner!!! haha technically bagels are at 11 so i guess its really free lunch if i want it to be=P the mech e department here is so generous.. they sponsor $300 worth of food for me 310 class every thursday for this thing called SUDS (slight unorganized design session) or smth like that.. haha so i get free dinner=)

oh yeah.. i had my first in-n-out burger on monday nite with kathryn (my roommate from la), serheng (my neighbour) and megan (serene's roomate and also my neighbour).. =) it was really good! maybe cos i was also v hungry and by e time we got dinner it was past 9pm.. and THEN we got KRISPY KREMES!!! and kathry and i got a dozen to stock up at home.. been trying to ration out my krispy kremes.. but they are disappearing fast.. =P

haha so actually me 310 is really time consuming but its really fun.. cos i meet alot of ppl in class cos we're all in e loft almost 24/7.. jie an kale were rite.. haha.. but anyways, cos i met this guy in my class who's in the salsa grp, me and this other girl in my class went for the salsa tryouts last nite.. i noe i was kinda off e whole salsa thing for the longest time alr.. but this campus grp looks fun and un-sleazy.. so i thot it was worth a shot since the ballroom team here's kinda not as organized and well developed as umich and cos finding a partner for just 9 mths is gonna be a huge pain and almost impossible.. at least with this grp u dun need a fixed partner and all.. and u can still dance!!! so i'm waiting for the results.. but there's not tt much chance cos there were well over 50 girls, with maybe like 3 spots?? plus another 20 tried out tonite and a couple more tmr.. haha but i shd noe by friday.. then i'll decide whether or not to also audition for the viennese ball opening comm.. =)

yay the dancing's the only thing tt's keeping me positive, sane, and possibly happy amidst the craziness of settling down with crazy busy classes and homework... can't wait for the next time i get to dance.. =)

ps. i miss tv.. i wish i had tv... it'd make meals a lot less lonely and alot more relaxing. haha

okies i shd go slp now.. i have a 9.30am clas tmr.. followed by another LOOONGGG day.u noe, i shd really start cherishing these times when i'm busy with school and doing homework and having classes and frens.. cos in less than a yr i wun haf it anymore, and i'll be stuck in an office from 8am - 6 pm or later..
*trying to think positive and be thankful*

thank You for my little blessings, for the family and frens around me, and for being with me always..

still settling..

hihi i'm one week into school and i've had a crazy two weeks here.. been just such a crazy first week at school...

as a summary, i've had 2 assigments due in the first week and built a water balloon launcher in two days.. which class makes to BUILD a first project in two days??!!??!!

ok but i must admit it was kinda fun building it and 310 is really a great place to meet ppl and make new frens.. =) its cos of 310 that i found out about church, cell groups on campus, viennese ball opening committee auditions, and this salsa group on campus and when the salsa party and auditions are..

its kinda comforting to know that my ME classmates can afford to have a life outside ME, so that mean i can too! heh. will prob try to go for a ocuple tryouts and stuff but haf no idea if i can get in since i'm still recovering and i haevn't danced in AGES. esp salsa.. but oh wells. i'll try for fun.. and hope i can do some dancing to keep me sane..

am working on homework now for a controls class. i was the only one in office hours today.. =s which only mean either of two things-- 1) everyone else is super smart and knows how to do the homework.. 2) no one else has started on the homework.. so hm... i'm kinda demoralized..

oh yes and i got a new bike. i have to bike to class. =S another thing i'm not used to.. def wakes me up i guess when u have to exercise in order to get to class.. and my bike lock cost half as much as my bike itself. bleah.

and i need a brighter lamp in my room.. the light is so yellow. and it doesn't help when i'm trying to study.. maybe i'll make a second trip to ikea.. my study lamp from the first trip isn't quite enough.. need a bedside lamp too.. =P

sigh it seems like these few weeks is like major change time period for my whole family.. jie has to adjust to moving away, and mommie and daddie have to adjust to both of us being away... i guess its a hard time for everyone now huh.. shd just count my blessings.. like having jem come visit me on weekends to distract me from my misery and demoralization..and jie emailing me to tell me its not unusual to feel demoralized..

and although i'm all e way here, i feel really sad that she's leaving home.. as in.. not that i'm there or anything.. but it feels like everything will never be the same again. =( i bet mommy and daddy will miss her and their only grandaughters too.. -i- will at least and they prob will even more... and well.. everything's just so saddening.. bleah. i'm emo now too. sorry.

things are just so unsettled, and so unsettling now....

californiaaa...

i'm here~! officially moved in in sunny california~!

and terribly jetlagged.. been up almost all nite.. and only haf myself to blame-- for sleeping all e way in the plane ride.. i think i'm gonna crash this afternoon..

anyways thank you all for coming to the airport~! it was really nice having all of you there... my whole big family came.. =) and patiently stayed and waited till i went in (we went for an extremely early lunch) =P and thank u sooo much for coming to pick us up and bring my pink bedsheets and extra pillows=)

lets see if i can put pics up.. this is wat happens when i'm jetlagged with nothing to do. =P


oh by e way, my apt is really big and i'm pretty happy with it.. now just waiting for my roomate to move in in a couple of days.. *anxious* haha

this was at breakfast at botanical gardens.. =P

too many things, too little space

just came home from a yummy japanese buffet at miramar hotel, ikoi~! =) now my tummy is full and satisfied (and bloated)..

so i'm sitting in my room now amidst the mess of packing.. one of my bags is filled, the other half filled, and i can think of so many more things i might like to bring with me.. i have too many things dear to me, and too little space =( and too small a weight limit too. *Sighs* but i'm trying to tell myself to minimize.. cos i'm gonna haf to move back here in less than a year anyways.. then i'll haf a big bunch of stuff to bring back. =(

can't believe i'm leaving in less than three days.. the only consolation i haf is that i'm going to a really nice place, and jem's waiting in cali. =) still, i don't wanna leave my family and frens here, esp knowing that when i get back for good my sister and her family wun be here at home anymore. =(

then again, i shd really be looking forward to this last year and cherish it to the max.. after which i'll by slogging e rest of my life away in e workforce and i'll really start feeling like i haf to be an all-out adult.

regarding a totally unrelated issue, my comp has been making weird loud whirring noises =( and my msn messenger is screwing up, it refuses to let me log on~! =( signs of an unhealthy computer-me relationship appearing..bleah.

went out with hwying today just one more time.. am going to miss u lots~! thanx for everything and take good care=) May God bless u and be with you each step of the way.. May He comfort you with His loving hand and heal every hurt and wound..=) *hugs*

great weekend and a wonderful monday~

so despite still being sick since last wed, i had a pretty nice weekend, and a really great monday today~!

the weekend started with the family(except kale) taking a breakfast trip to botanical gardens to eat prata.. its soo changed now! and pretty nice too.. next time i come back home i def haf to remind myself to visit the gardens properly.. =) then i had vietnamese noodles with my sister at great world city before heading home to konk out and try to slp away the flu bug (again, and again to no avail)..

and then my parents and i headed out to TMCC for another dinner/dance thingey.. this time it was elvis/retro themed~! =) my mommie got me these bright pink hoop earrings and hairband thingey to match my pink top! haha surprise suprise..
anyways, dancing a little with my dad really lifted my spirits and cheered me up and make me feel better.. i miss dancing so so much!

so saturday ended with a late nite and a lost voice.

sunday morning was spent in church seeing my lovely church frens for e last time this year... went home to a nice lunch from my family's fave vegetarian store in pek kio market=) yummy. then we headed out to the photoshoot place with the whole family to take studio shots of graduation and stuff.. =) amusing cos its a really tough, if not impossible task getting a 2 yr old and a 3 mth old to pose well for the camera at the same time.. =P pictures did turn out quite ok in e end, altho i still insist that make up covering my eyebags makes me look strangely oriental and not me.. *Shrugs*

the day ended with a nice italian dinner and a trip to the flyer~! and meredith was totally thrilled to be able to ride the "big wheel" =)

and then came monday..

i had so many plans for today.. didn't manage to fit everything i wanted to do in e end, but it -was- quite a fruitful day, and i feel happy refreshed and contented now=)

wanted to hit clementi bookstore and the optician and get my flu sorted out at the doctor's all in e morning.. (overly ambitious, i know) ended up only accomplishing the last task, but along with doing tt i was able to get my laundry bags and foldable laundry baskets and bath mats for use in my future grad sch life=) then i got dropped off at city hall for a really pampering pedi with my sister.. thanks jie for the treat!=)

was supposed to meet May for the rest of our baptism class/discussion thingey.. but i wandered ard bras basah for awhile, looking for a cd compilation of singapore songs for my sister.. she's rite, its impossible to find it in singapore.=( popular din haf it, and tried to contact the supplier.. they later told me the supplier din bring it in anymroe either=( bleah. so i'll try HMV next i guess.. anyways i got my stationery from popular at least.. then wandered around the Christian bookstore there.. really wanted to get a chinese bible for my grandma, but they had discounts for members only, so decided to wait for may to get it some other time..

so then i met may and jesu at e national library! and we ate a little and started a long conversation and intriguing discussion abt various issues.. it was really a very enlightening and wonderful time of sharing, learning, and fellowship =)

was supposed to head home for dinner, and was kinda sad that i reached home too late. i missed an opportunity to haf dinner w my sister and e kids and all.. =( and i told my sister i'd be home for dinner too.. =(

but its ok, i haven't been v active in cell and church activities, it was a realy refreshing time to hang out with may and talk abt deep things, getting a renewed sense of peace and joy, and spending time in fellowship with others and in His presence=) thank you for taking e time to meet and talk with me~!=) and thank you jie for understanding.. i'm saving friday for you!=)

don't she look adorable~?

us flag and a bright pink bow=)

scratchy throat and sniffy nose~

looks like my immune system has finally given in to that potent bug that been going ard the family.. =S

oh wells.. hopefully i can slp and rest it off and it'llbe gone before i leave.. which isn't far away~! as of now.. i have 8 days and 17 hours (ish).=P

i've gotten my apartment block and number and the feeling of finaly starting grad school is suddenly becoming more real.. i can spot my future home as a dot on the campus map =)

meanwhile, packing has to start soon.. i'm wondering how i ever got my life into two suitcases when i first moved to michigan, complete with all e lovely farewell gifts and notes from my wonderful singapore frens.

now i don't even haf all e added extras to carry and i alr feel like there's not enough space.. but i shall try my best to minimize.. after all, i'm gonna haf to face the pain of transporting everything back here in less than a year..=(

*sniffs* i think i shall go to bed now. tried to slp this horrid flu bug thing off the whole day.. but it resfuses to budge. will try again tonite and tmr. wish i cd haf some tlc..

new phase, new face~

haha my blog has undergone a change tt resulted from an accident..

i guess its about time i changed my blog layout anyways, the picture was disappearing, the falling hearts were getting annoying, and the links are totally ancient and out of date..

ps. thanks lyd, for letting me know that at least someone reads my blog.. i was starting to think that NO ONE visited my blog anymore, following the draught of posts.. (which may not be a bad thing compared to blogs overly visited by unknown random strangers.. =P)

so.. to a new phase of my life tt i'll be embarking on in less than two weeks =)
Lord, teach me and guide me~

happy 30th jie~! =)
pics of our Dozo dinner..