happy or sad?

at the dude and finally finished my adams tutorial, which i'm still positive i must have screwed up somewhere along the way... and finished up my me 458.. tt stupid thing got me frantically searching for some function i couldn't find and wasted 1/2 an hour on it. *sighs* but yay now its done.
=)

the skies are so gloomy nowadays.. its turning colder and colder..

and i realised i've been thinking alot about dancing nowadays too.. ballroomm is much more fun now i must say.. we can actualli make our way around the dance floor.. gee.. and at times i can almost feel like i'm flying *smiles* but wells.. i still can't help but look back at those fond memories we had in dance club.. i miss it lots lots. =(

oh wells.. its about time i faced it tt that chapter of my life is closed.. time to move on and savour the other sweet experiences of my life.. if i'm meant to dance that way again someday i will.. but not for now.

*sits back*

now i shall carry on with my me 320 homework...
quite saddened by my 320.. i realli thot i could have done better... but i did try my best.. and i guess if u give it to me again i'd do the v same thing. =S its just tt its 40% of my grade.. its an insane amount. =(
nvm.. checked up my 458 and tt's going pretty good. *smiles again*

amongst all the downs, there're blessings just waiting to be noticed. =)
right?

just have to clear up 320 and 382 hw for e week and study for 382 exam.. then on e weekend its off to ohio! to dance the weekend away.. (while michigan is prob playing the biggest game of their lives against ohio and i wun get to watch it =S) and then next weekend its off to dc for thanksgiving =)... ooh can't wait to go shopping.. hope i get to go shopping.. *hopeful*

thinks.

just read wk's blog~

and read an email from hwying and sent her a 1362 word long email..

gosh i miss my frens back home and how sweet they are.. and how we all shared the same kinds of views and hopes and dreams in life.. the kind that everyone is skeptical and cynical about.. but the kind that would make the world realli such a beautiful place~

i shdn't give up shd i~?
wat little difference can i make.. maybe, just *maybe* God will shine His light thru me and *maybe* there's some glimmer left in me that could rekindle everything and make everything bright again..

*ponderS*

meanwhile.. ballrooming alot.. preparations for OSB are gearing up lots.. getting pretty excited.. =) hope things go well.. but first.. need to finish me 320 homework, me 382 homework, me458 carsim exercise, and me 350 adams tutorial.. hms.. tt's one thing from every subject.. heh. oh and start studying for my 382 tt's right after my exam =(

oh wells. =)
thank You for the love and strength for this new week~ =) and help me to savour each and every little blessing around me each day.. help me be more thankful and drown myself in Ur love =)
was a little caught up in my little troubles e past week.. but this week i'm gonna try and change tt =)

oh ps. wk.. if u ever read this.. i haven't even wished u a proper happy bday yet and its been so long.. ur 3 videos tt i'm too embarassed to send are still on my desktop.. =( every other day it pops up in my head tt i need to send u a wish~! hope i'll see u online..

oh and meredith is getting cuter all the time.. go see my jiejie's blog =) she's adorable~! and she's gonna grow up to be a breathtakingly pretty girl~! *beams*

saturday at home~

spent the whole day at home today~ spent the whole day on my project report, which is still not complete cos i haven't gotten parts from my teammates yet.. was hoping to finish most of it today cos i haf an exam on monday tt i haf to mug real hard for =(
how terrible i've hardly started..

oh wells.. fishball soup with white cabbage and tofu with bai cai for dinner tonite~! *beams* ginger chicken too =P
but i think everything but the soup is a little too salty for everyone else *Sheepish* i think i added a little too much soya/dark sauce.. *oops*

*shrugs*
nvm

sighs.. i'm so sick of me 350 rite now.. been spending more than half my work time on this stupid class and i dun think i can get an a even. =(

oh wells.. thankful to be able to get thru anyways..

current fav song~! i luv e guitar part =)

"Far Away" - Nickelback

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

phew~

me 320 exams over and pump is built~! *breathes sigh of relief*
now got 458 exam on monday tt i better start mugging for soon and my pump project report due tuesday morning~ and hoping my name actualli gets put on the project. *hms*

*bites lip*

spent more than an hour on skype with jie and mommie and meredith yest.. heard her cry~! and let out tiny blurps of sound.. *heartmelts*

ooh its snowing today.. and its onli 2nd nov~! llike snoowining snooooowing.. the kind with white stuff on the floor after.. hee.

thank You for the strength that has gotten me thus far~ *smiles*
trusting for the love and strength to pull me thru~ =)

tuesday tuesday.. aiming for now to just get past tuesday.. heh.

of halloween and MWG~

pictures from wisconsin MWG last weekend~



the captain's ball team... we won~! =)




the moisturizer thingey from home positively makes me look like a ghost in pictures~! *hms*













jer me and elly our host~! =)

from halloween last nite~
my costume cost $12.98 in total.. for the wings and halo onli.. *beams*
din haf to spend much altho it -is- pretty boring of me.. heh


dressed up and ready to go halloweening~=P


guess who~??? =P this costume won~!=)


adhi and me.. SO1B~! =P can't tell wat he is tho.


liyu the corpse bride~


gothic punk juliana~


mahjong tile~!


han the china/ jap guy??


senior girls~


paulpiong's detachable arm~






jer is killing me wings~!


guy who stole my halo halfway~


shadows~!


sha the tinkerbell and me~

more pics in other ppl's cams.. lazy..

gosh~

just finished two ME exams~!

one last nite and one this morning.. *sighs of relief*
thank God for the grace to pull me through this..

unfortunately i dun feel much less stressed.. got pump project tt needs to be rushed.. and i'm heading off to wisconsin for mid western games anytime now.. 7hours drive each way~ *bleah*

hms.. this past month has been packed~! w many many things~
but on e whole i'm just thankful for everything now =)

fall break last weekend was realli nice... the sights were beautiful.. esp the sunset~ =) realli blessed too..

will try to upload photos here as much as possible.. haha for u mommie~!=P

try to put afew before i go.. will put more later i hope..=)

luv u all lots lots~ =) all my lovely blessings back home=)
























okies more later~

loong absence~

i've disappeared for pretty long from here..
ever since before i came back to aa.. its been 3 weeks since i got back here??

everything's been flying at me.. its kinda hard to stop and take a breather..
plus i hardly haf the time to blog.. when i haf e time i haf no mood.. *shrugs*

but yes i'm still alive..
maybe almost dying but still alive.. *bleah*

gist of the past three weeks.. been intensely ballroom dancing.. got onto c team again! not sure if its a good thing but better than last year... and God has blessed me in tt..

schools kinda hard but my schedule's pretty ok.. and God is really giving me strength and discipline to do homework earlier.. and motivation too.. i'm much more focused on work this term and i hope it stays tt way.. its gonna be hard diffcult material but all things are possible with Him.. *little smiles*

me 350 project threatens to be really crazy..

wat else.. let's see..
sometimes bleahness and stonedness clouds over me.. but i'm dealing with tt..

oh! went to wisconsin game today.. was really good

came back and finished up the bulk of my me 458 homework.. doing laundry..
feeling rather upset.. but its prob a mood swing..

okies. randomness.
give me love and strength for this new week~! *smiles*

don't wanna leave..

i've barely two days more and i realli dun wanna leave at this moment..

went out with te girls the nite before.. hwying chiara huilin and celene.. has a great girl hang out time at dinner and at timbre.. haha a bunch of girls at different stages in their lives holding hands and leaning on ach other for support.. am so touched u girls made time to be with me.. and thank u for the drink.. the fastest drink i've ever downed.. haha.. flaming lamboguini.. amazingy i dun think i felt any effects but no.. i'm not gonna test my limits. heh.. it -was- realli good tho..felt realli nice and warm inside after...

yesterday was a pretty good day~ came over to jie's in e morning... went to east coast to develop photos and picked my grandma up for lunch at tau kwa pau at joochiat =) raining realli heavily.... got all drenched.. but kinda liked the feeling of it...
went back to parkway, drove home to change into smth nicer for jie's birthday dinner.. dinner was delicious~! jap buffet at m hotel.. realli realli realli good jap food.

bleah that paragraph sounded awful. just a chunk of words..

after dinner i met up with chethan.. watched click.. missed e first fifteen minutes but it was a fabulous show anyways.. we both din regret the choice.. haha.. went coffee club to eat and talk after..
quoting chethan: "the you before was better for everyone else, but the you now is better for urself"
*bleah*

its perhaps true.. and while it may not neccessarily all tt bad... i feel realli saddened by it..
y can't e real world be changed..
y can't tt apparently unreal world where everyone was genuinely nice to each other and never wanted to hurt each other BE our real world.. y can't we do smth to make tt diff..

but he's rite.. i shd just be thankful tt i ever experienced tt blissful world of mine that made all bad things fade away.. just cos the ppl in my world then realli did care for each other so much and loved each other so dearly.. tt world where according to chet all the people were genuinely nice.. tt doesn't exist anywhere else... so thank u all.. my dearest frens and family here who've been there for me the whole time.. i realli will miss u when i go back.. and i promise i will try to not let e things around me get me further down than it alreadi has.. God has given me those experiences to look back on and to hold on to.. and they will be my inspiration~

meeting qt and wk later.. i hope i dun let my current pensiveness get the better of me.. its e last time i'll be seeing them in ages.. prob gonna eat dinner with mommie and daddie.. might go dancing with them for a while.. before i meet hwying anna and yl tonite..

two more days..
give me courage not to cry when i leave..

so much to do, so little time~!

time flies so quickly when u want it to go sloooowly~! =(

i'm flying off in less than a week~!
i thot i was supposed to haf two whole months.. how did it shrink so fast into 6 days? =S

this coming week is packing up realli realli fast~!
so sad i was supposed to watch the devil wears prada with hwying anna and yl last nite after sending kendrew off.. but my eye was killing me after dinner w kemmy and shuwen.. so kemmy sent me alll the way to e airport~!!! she was scared to leave me alone in case i couldn't see.. haha (thanx so much again dear... i owe u a big one) thank goodness wilson could give me a lift home after (thanx alot too~! =p ) unfortunately there went the movie tt anna already paid for.. shall haf to pay her back *sad* but e saddest part was missing out on the outing i guess..

oh wells~ at least i get to see anna and hwying tmr after dinner cos we're heading down to val lau's place for 412 gathering.. =) hopefully we can get another day tt we can hang out tog before i leave but from e looks of it..dots.. *sad look*

went for spa with mommie and daddie today~ and then met chiara and wk and john and puee and mj~! at miss clarity cafe and went to check out loof for abit.. din stay long tho~

hms.. plans for e week:
mon: dinner w zh
tues: meet al in e afternoon? then the council/med fac girls for dinner and timbre~! =)
wed: jie's bday dinner~! meet chethan after before he has to book back into camp
thurs: meet qt for lunch and wk after~!
fri: hwying's coming over at nite and going airport w me even at e oddest hour in the nite/morning~

heh. i wanna spend some time w my grandmother too.. haven't seen her tt much this holiday =( hopefully lunch at east coast w her?? and wonder if she's watched tt dvd yet *hopeful*

and hwying~! my dearest best fren who's been there thru everything and totally understands all tt i go thru =)

and of course every spare minute goes to admiring meredith and watching her grow more adorable and smarter and cuter each and every second~! =)

plans to go to hawaii in four months.. get to see meredith and my sister and kale there in winter~! xmas and new yr.. *pleased*

*laffs* need all this stuff to keep me occupied~! keep my mind off all possible depressing thots. *ugh* go away horrible thots~! =P

oh yes. face peeling again. =(
hopefully it has helped at least a litte. *scrunch face*

so... poofy eyed plus peeling face plus specs. heehee. tt's me at e moment.

oh yes~! i need to squeeze in a haircut.. and go exchange my laptop case.. and develop photos~!!!! so much to do so little time~!!! *panics* need to start packing alreadi~! *dread*

by e way.. this girl plans to revamp her life when she gets back to aa and wants to drag her lazy bum back to some decent form of dancing.. the kind that made her feel alive and made her the happiest she's been... amongst other revamping moves. *thinks hard*

ooh. long post. too much on my mind now.. its in a whirlpool~!
off to the warm comforting embrace of my bed.
nitenite~!

east coast reminiscence~

*sniffles*

going to parkway today~! i miss the east.. our east coast home has been torn down. =(
the place where i literally grew up.. from e age of 1 1/2 to 19... *amazed*

tt's a looong time.. no wonder i feel so attached to it..
thanks for all the amazing memories~ =)

*waves byebye*

pics from bintan part 1

some pics from bintan~







































rest of pics in mommie's at huilin's cam.. they'll come later~ =)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

glory fills the highest place, what can separate me now...